So 4 years have come and gone and it still hurts knowing you’re not here anymore.
I still imagine our conversations and telling you about my stories and shenanigans . I can still hear you tell me “for god’s sake don’t tell your mother”.
So many firsts you have missed out on and so many more to come. Each time something new happens, I want to tell you about it but then I remember.
You’ll be proud of me though Dad as I didn’t cry yesterday.
I know people think it’s pathetic that I still haven’t “gotten over you it” or “moved on” or “why are you still sad” and I know you would be one of them, but it’s been hard. You were my mate, you were my ally, you knew I was “a smart cookie” and you were proud of me. I guess as people have told me it gets easier over time, but so far its sucked nuts.
I know Mum misses you heaps, but you know how she is. Doesn’t let on much and still acts like a martyr but I know she feels that gap that you once filled. Sometimes, when something catches my attention out the corner of my eye, I think it’s you there. I guess that’s Mum’s eccentric blood coming though. Bro’s doing ok. He’s been pretty good stepping up when needed, I know he misses you heaps too.
It’s been a tough year this past year Dad, lots of highs and lows for us kids. So many times I wanted to call you and talk to you about stuff.
I have so much I want to talk to you about and so much I want to ask you about but you’re not here.
I wish you were here.
I love you Dad.